Dressing up and Getting Drunk
by EverShadow
Summary: Saitou in a dress, Aoshi drunk, Kenshin all meanie and Sanosuke with make up on. Not to mention a sleepy Kaoru and a hippie Shishio...enjoy or beware. The horror begins.


Tiger of Blackness: I'm not even going to comment on the stupidity and horror of this fanfic…

EverShadow: Yes, as I promised in the summary, there will be Saitou in a dress!!!

Tiger of Blackness:……There are just so many things wrong with this. So many things…

EverShadow: What else? A drunken Kaoru, a happy Shishio, a calm Misao, a drunk Aoshi, a drunk Sanosuke, and many other things. Oh, and to make things worse, Kenshin kills a harmless child!!! NO KENSHIN!! WHY???

Tiger of Blackness: ……There are just so many things wrong with this.

EverShadow: Ah well, ON WITH THE SHOW!!

Dressing Up and Getting Drunk

            Kaoru knew that the day had been a long one, especially since she had trained extra hard. She took a small nap in the afternoon and it wasn't until a loud noise woke up her up in the evening. Hungry and half asleep, she stumbled out of the room, barely missing a thrown plate.

            "Heeey…" a voice drooled. "If it…*hiccup* ragoon face *hiccup*…nooce to meet yoo again…" Kaoru turned and saw a drunken Aoshi stumbling towards her.

            "Hello Aoshi," she mumbled and headed towards the kitchen.

            "Don't leave…we were just *hiccup* getting to know each other. Come 'ere and give ungle Aoshi a hug…" he said happily. Suddenly, Sanosuke raced down the stairs.

            "There ya are…" Sanosuke was drunk too. "We were jes' gedding ready for da party…" he snapped. "Come on, Aoshinamori…shinashi…whatever ya name is…" Aoshi waved at Kaoru.

            "Buh bye *hiccup* happy ragoon gal…" he stumbled with Sanosuke down the hallway. Kaoru waved back in her dreamy state and kept walking towards the kitchen. Kenshin flew past her, his eyes still purple but his state completely Battosai-ish.

            "Get out of my way you wench," he snapped, shoving her to the side. Megumi stepped out and he stabbed her. This, however, did not wake Kaoru up any more.

            "Buh bye, Meggy-chan." She whispered and yawned. Megumi in the meanwhile, slumped to the ground, her stomach bleeding. Yahiko ambled on by her.

            "Hey Megumi, whatcha doing on the floor?" he asked. "You tired or something?"

            "Yahiko…help…me…" she whispered.

            "Sorry, can't hear ya. I had Kaoru screaming in my ear all this morning and I can't hear a blasted thing!" he noticed the blood. "Man, Megumi, be careful with the red dye. Welp, gotta go. I have to go find Aoshi." He walked past her, whistling. Megumi lay on the ground, waiting for death, oh sweet, sweet death. 

Meanwhile…in Aoshi's room…

            "Careful where ya smear that…" Saitou snapped, his eyes dull from the sake. His face was smeared with lipstick and perfume.

            "I'm careful," Sanosuke snapped drunkenly as Aoshi smiled foolishly while applying makeup to his own face. All of them were in flowery dresses. Saitou had put on the pink one, Sanosuke had the purple and Aoshi had the rainbow.

            "S'bout time we leave…ya…" Aoshi slurred as they drank more sake. The door slid open and Yahiko looked in.

            "There you are! I was ju…" he stopped dead. All three smiled sweetly at him.

            "Hey! It's the little…*hiccup* girl from the place…" Aoshi scratched his head. "Where *hiccup* was it again?" Yahiko turned to run.

            "KAORU! RUN FOR YOU LIFE!!" Saitou grabbed him and set him down.

            "Now you be a nice little girl. Let's play dress up!" They held him while they clumsily put a dress on him. Then, they bound him to a chair and applied makeup.

            "KAORU!! HELP ME!!" He shouted before they gagged him as well. It was going to be a long night…

Meanwhile…in the hall…

Megumi's thoughts, "Wonderful, now I get to die in this hallway. Stupid…stupid…stupid…"

Meanwhile…in the kitchen…

            Kaoru looked up from her dinner. She thought she had heard Yahiko screaming for help. Then, remembering who he was looking for, she didn't give it a second thought. He probably ran into Sanosuke and they probably got into a fight again. She finished her dinner and washed the dishes. Then, she returned to her room for some more sleep.

EverShadow: Well? Was it insane enough for a first chapyter?

Tiger of Blackness: Dear gods of Liane…what have you created? WHAT UNHOLY BEAST SENT YOU TO WRITE THIS THING???

EverShadow: And the flames will come in like sheep on slaughtering day.

Tiger of Blackness: SHEEP!! SHEEP!! SHEEP!!!! RUN SHEEP!!! RUN AWAY!!

EverShadow: Well, I expect flames but I would like nice comments. But flames are accepted…consider what I have created…

Tiger of Blackness: SHEEP!! SHEEP!! SHEEP!! OH MIGHTY SHEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!

EverShadow: ………EverShadow signing off…


End file.
